Member-only story
What I Thought Would Be Calming Sounds Turned Out Not To Be
Unsettling Emotions
By Dr. Gabriella Kőrösi
Calming sounds can be hard to come by in today’s fast pacing society with continuing stimulation by sounds of media outlets and industry.
Calming sounds can be different for each person based on individual preference. Listening to the ocean in the early morning when the beach is mostly empty can be very calming and relaxing experience. Walking in the forest and listening to the birds can also be a very calming experience.
I thought that recording and experiencing the birds in the morning by a burning fire that I made would be a calming sounds and a nice experience. I had burned many fires in my life from campfires to clean up old wood and weeds, black berry and more. There had been a lot of fires lately and not enough rain in many areas and I wanted to make sure that the fire stays small in the burn barrel to make sure noting outside can catch on fire.
Normally I like fires, especially in a social setting or for warmth in the house during cool fall and winter nights. I am not sure what was the specific reason this morning that caused the fire to affect me so much. Instead of relaxing I was tense, on high alert and worried. Emotions flooded and tears come to my eyes. All the sudden I was back there seeing the aftereffects of our house burning down. The normally calming sounds of the fire and the joyful warm of the fire felt threatening and terrifying. I could not wait to be done with the fire, making sure it was all out.
I stopped the recording and had a feeling that my original intention for a peaceful recording might not work. I was still full of emotions and taken by surprise that why now almost 7 years later the fire hit me so hard. I know that traumatic events can come back, yet the emotion was so strong that it had really taken me by surprise. I listened back to the recording, and I know that it was not something I can use almost immediately. As I was listening, I noticed my breathing changed to a point that is was actually audible on the tape multiple times. I was able to correlate the increased breathing to the intensity of the crackling to the fire.
